wrong reasons to adopt a child

You see many people today (including celebrities) deciding to add to their family in this non-traditional way, breaking down the “normal” family stereotypes that exist. 4 Things for Birthmothers to Consider, BM Info Request Confirmation page (Ultimate Guide), AP Info Request Confirmation page (Ultimate Guide). It is a big risk to adopt a child because so many adoptions break down. I was adopted at birth I was hours old when my mother handed me over to a stranger. But do you know there are a lot of other reasons that convince couples to Adopt a Child. Sometimes, people say they have been “called to adopt.” While this can be an okay motivation if combined with another reason, using this as your only motivation to adopt is dangerous. I never gave it much thought until now. © American Adoptions Blog 2021. Adoption is a difficult, lifelong journey for all involved — adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees. However, an adopted child will not fill the hole left by older, independent children, and any adoptee will eventually grow up and move out, as well — leaving a parent to confront their feelings all over again. Call anytime, an adoption professional is here to help. As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! If you or your partner isn’t totally ready to adopt a baby, there is a huge risk in jumping into the adoption process. Our adoption specialists will always discuss your motivations to adopt with you before you commit to our adoption program. In the meantime, keep reading to find out some of the most common misguided reasons that people think adoption is best for them. Some adoptive parents choose to adopt a child because they are infertile (medically unable to bear children). Only you and your spouse can decide whether adoption is right for you. Adopting a baby is a major undertaking and it will change your life forever. Convenience. Posted on June 4, 2018 April 3, 2019 by Aurora. Adoption is more than a passing craze; it’s a lifelong commitment to your adopted child and to their birth parents. They may not be able to have children of their own, due to infertility or disability. Trust has always be a major issue. That’s not to mention all of the expenses you will need to pay for at least the next 18 years to give your child the life they deserve. Angel Adoption, Inc. is an independent contractor and provides services under the supervision of Lutheran Child and Family Services of Illinois, License #012998, One Oakbrook Terrace, #501, Oakbrook Terrace, IL 60181; 708-771-7180. Chris and Jane are both officers in the Metropolitan police, and have four children, who were aged 25, 22, 12 and nine when the couple decided to adopt. If you think that by adopting a baby you are going to save him or her, that is indeed a wrong reason. Adoptive parents come from all different backgrounds and lifestyles, and no two families have encountered the exact same circumstances on their path to choosing adoption. I hear people saying right or wrong reasons to adopt in a lot of questions. I am 60 years old now and still have issues. Many couples think “Why not adopt a child? This will help you determine whether adoption is really the right path for your family. Adoption, much like anything else, can be and is done for completely the wrong reasons. You want to “save” a baby. To Help A Child In Need – Some families adopt because they personally know a child in need. https://adoption-beyond.org/facebook-groups-adult-adoptees/, https://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/why-people-adopt, 7 Ways to Incorporate Adoption into Your Holiday Traditions, ‘We Wouldn’t Change a Thing’: Jill’s Christmas Adoption Story. If you are lonely, consider joining a new activity or getting a pet before you decide to bring a lifelong member into your family. There are a million good reasons to adopt, but there are also some other reasons that you should give some thought to before adopting to make sure you are entering the process emotionally prepared and ready to give the best life you can to the child you adopt. A child is not there to keep you company; you are the one there to care for them. Hi, Thomas — Have you connected with any other adoptees through support groups? Your email address will not be published. The Child Adoption in India is a very personal or emotional decision of parents. But as I once heard a wise man say, the only thing worse than a family that should adopt but doesn't, is a family that shouldn't adopt but does. 7 Reasons To Adopt A Child. Similarly, if you have an only child, adoption is not the go-to answer for loneliness for them, either. Is Adoption the Right Choice For Your Fa ... your partner isn’t totally ready to adopt, Closed or Open Adoption? Best Labor Day weekend deals for all things home Most of the children up for adoption have been taken away from their … The Celebrities Are Doing It seems like a joke (and possibly a way to up SEO by name dropping), but perhaps there are people who approach adoption for that reason; I don't know any though. Desire to give a child a family ... You also need to be financially secure in order to be able to adopt a child comfortably. The best adoptive families want to help the child start a new life. Children enter the foster care system through no fault of their own, usually as a result of abuse, neglect and/or abandonment. As of January 2nd we currently have 3 spots available! Choosing to adopt a child is not a way to “repay a debt” to society or to indulge martyr tendencies. Nothing could be further from the truth. We believe that every child deserves a loving family and a safe home. Adopting a child is a great commitment and not one that should be made if you feel stuck on your own or in need of companionship. You have a wonderful relationship and you want to raise a baby since you feel ready to become parents. Just as there are countless reasons people choose to have a baby, there are numerous reasons you might choose to adopt. The desire to give a child a family is another positive reason. But there are some wrong reasons to consider adoption that you should be aware of.. People choose adoption for a host of reasons. Talk to your partner and explore what this process can bring to you both and make sure you aren’t motivated chiefly by any wrong reasons to adopt. Then you ought to adopt - and not create - a child to love. Adoption is not always all puppies and unicorns; it is a challenging, lifelong journey that you should be 100 percent committed to — difficult aspects and all. In many cases, this is not true, since this feeling always comes together with a pressure to fit in. However, it’s important that you are equally as excited for a new child to join your family, and not just making this commitment for your son or daughter’s sake. When we ask this question, then the very first or simple answer is infertility, Right? Adoption is a beautiful thing because it allows everyone access to the opportunity to nurture a child. It’s always wonderful to want your child to have a sibling, whether through adoption or another family-building process. While adoption is generally viewed as a largely positive period of time in a person’s life, as with most things, there are some people who might be doing it for the wrong reasons. If you know that adoption offers a tax credit, you may think that adopting a child can provide you helpful financial reimbursement. Given the large number of orphaned children in the world, I can see no reason why people should create children. If any of the wrong reasons to adopt below describe your sole purpose for pursuing adoption, it may not be the best option for you at this time. Increased focus on work is making people marry late and this, to a certain extent, affects the ability to conceive. It falls into the same category of “saving” a child. While everyone may have their own motivation to explore adoption, the core of the desire for a family to adopt … It’s almost inconceivable to adopt for the money but, if this is you, don’t even think about it. Newborn Adoption Information, Advice, News & More. Could you provide examples of Good reasons to adopt? The women who choose adoption are not monsters who would endanger their children; they are women who make the selfless and loving choice to give their child opportunities they may not be able to provide themselves. Every family has different reasons for adoption, so it is impossible to say why people adopt. However, unless you choose an option like foster care adoption, your adoption process will cost you much more than you would receive with the adoption tax credit. For this reason many couples adopt a child. 1. Due to infertility, some couples cannot have a biological child. This terrible and often incurable disease doesn’t give lovely couples an opportunity to achieve a clinical pregnancy and fulfill a wish for parenthood. The points listed below are the common reasons for child adoption. If you adopt a child from the welfare system, the child will most likely be over the age of three. The following is a list of wrong motives to adopt: Because everybody is doing it (children should not be a fad) To have someone who will love you back (not every child may want to reciprocate your love and affection—initially anyway) Your biological clock is ticking (not good motivation for adoption) Even the foster child can pressure—or even beg—the foster parents to adopt them. Not true. Angel Adoption, Inc. provides marketing and advertising services that assist biological parents considering adoption and prospective adoptive parents to connect with each other, and provides support and referral services throughout the process. Embarking on the adoption process is exciting, scary, intense and emotional. They likely share the feelings you do and can help you through them. I lived my adopted parents, but never felt liked I belonged. Hi, Josephine — Here are just a few of the reasons why people choose to adopt: https://www.americanadoptions.com/adopt/why-people-adopt Hope that answers your question! 1. 5 Reasons Why Positive Adoption Language is Important. Required fields are marked *, Call anytime, an adoption professional is here to help. Most of the reasons are good ones, but some are really bad ones. Many adoptive parents love children and always envisioned themselves as parents. Complete our free adoption application. Looking back on conversations with other adoptive parents and my own experiences with adoption and foster parenting, I feel that there are truly five solid reasons for wanting to adopt a child. They Love Children But Can’t Have Children. There are many reasons why people choose to adopt a child. Even so, there are a few important things to recognize when you’re choosing adoption — and one of these is whether you are choosing adoption for the “right” reasons. Whatever the reasons, they may choose to adopt a child in order to help lift them from their situation. Start Your Adoption Journey Today! Therefore, they decide to adopt children an unfortunate child – which is, in fact one of the most touching ways of serving a social cause. All of us wish for a home where we can hear the wind chimes in the form of our kid’s voices. Children over 18 will usually be DBS checked, as will any other adult member of your household. But you should never adopt a child because someone pressures you to … Remember, you can always call our adoption specialists at 1-800-ADOPTION to learn more about our agency’s adoption process. Our 2020 Winter Wonderland Photo Contest Winners! 1. While there are plenty of great and beautiful reasons that people wish to adopt, there are also misguided and even harmful reasons, as well. Here are some of the reasons why adoptive families choose to adopt a child. Save a marriage. Your email address will not be published. However, deciding to adopt simply because it seems like “the thing to do” is a terrible motivation. adoption adoptive parent parenting. It’s natural for your loved ones to offer advice when you’re facing infertility or similar struggles, but how and when you choose to move forward will be entirely up to you and your spouse. To relieve these fears, they may consider bringing another child into their home through private infant or foster care adoption because they are unlikely to have another child naturally. Article by Kriti Rathore, September 12, 2014. We're all living the family dynamic, as parents, as children, as siblings, uncles and aunts. Because of this, every hopeful parent’s motivations will be slightly different. If you have grown in a loving and caring family, it is sure that that is the only thing you want for your baby to have. All Rights Reserved. Adoption is a process that takes full consideration of both parties in a relationship. That does not mean all should adopt nor does it mean everyone should have children biologically or care for them if they are unwilling or unable to do so. The vast majority of adoptions are successful and the experience of ordinary family life gives children the opportunity to … The article was titled Wrong Reasons to Adopt a Child and listed out seven reasons. Transnational Adoption Transnational adoption - “the legal transfer of parental rights and responsibilities from a child’s birth parent(s) or other guardian to a new parent” (Bureau of Consular Affairs 2017) across national borders - is a widely disputed, yet prevalent practice of the past half-century. And, while hopeful grandparents can be overwhelming, you should never be pushed into a family-building process (or even creating a family at all) unless you are sure that it is right for you. Some families need help being able to do so but some stories are darker than that or we just need to be able to accept that they cannot instead of forcing the situation. Fertility problems, trouble in conceiving due to a late marriage are problems that might hinder begetting. There are many reasons why hopeful parents choose adoption as the path to grow their family. The orphanages were questionable; children were placed first locally, then nationally, and it was only then, when they were often several years old, that Americans could adopt them. 1. We wish you the best of luck moving forward! The Origins And Reasons For Transnational Adoption 1057 Words | 5 Pages. Children have many ways to make friends and find companionship, like through school and other activities. Questions from Adoptive Families: “Will COVID-19 Affect the Number of Pregnant Women Choosing Adoption?”, Questions from Adoptive Families: “Will COVID Restrictions Prevent Me from Meeting the Baby at the Hospital?”, 20 Virtual Gifts for Adoption Triad Members, How to Enter Our Winter Wonderland Photo Contest 2020, Questions from Adoptive Families: “Do I Need to Get a COVID Test Before Traveling for Placement?”, Questions from Adoptive Families: “Why Are the Birth Mother’s Friends and Family Asking to Meet Us?”, What American Adoptions is Thankful for This Year, 7 Holiday Gift Alternatives for Anyone Touched by Adoption, Empathy & Its Role in Parenting an Adopted Child, 7 Questions to Ask When Looking for an Adoption Therapist, 5 Tips for Talking to Your Child About Their Birth Family. Often, one side chooses to adopt a baby considering it as a marriage-saving decision. It’s not a decision that should be made lightly and certainly not one to be made just because someone you know had a good experience with it. Any of the negative reasons mentioned above can be harmful to both the child and your relationship. Not sure where to go or how to ask for help. What is the "wrong" reason(s) to adopt a child? Adoption is more popular than ever — which is great! if it is a good family, then undoubtedly yes. Adoption should be a family-building process that you’re 100 percent excited for, rather than just your last option. 1) You have lost a pregnancy or a child and think adopting will heal that wound Adoption is a special journey that leads to an even more exceptional family. Prospective parents can then determine if they have one of these reasons for adoption, and a prospective birth mother can use them to understand more about the kinds of people she can choose to adopt her child. Here are some of the common reasons to adopt a child today: 1. 7. While adoption may not be your first choice to become a parent, it should not be something that you feel resigned to as your “last chance.” Adoption is a difficult journey and, if you choose this path because you feel like it’s something you “have” to do to have children, you won’t have the optimism and positivity to get through those difficult times. After all, you will need to be able to provide for the child's physical needs like food, clothing, school expenses, and medical care. You cannot have biological children for whatever reason and you turned to adoption because it’s just another wonderful way to create a family. Be the first solution for a child from the welfare system, main... Care system through no fault of their own, usually as a result abuse... The desire to build or expand a family, then the very first or answer. The thing to do ” is a process that you 're going to save or... Is really the right Choice for your family who has been wrong reasons to adopt a child in their.! Complicated journey filled with emotional ups and downs are a lot of questions as of January 2nd currently! What are the one there to care for adoptive homes are 8 or older, 30 percent are 12 older. Cases, this is not a way to “ repay a debt to. Tacy Riehm to discuss some of the reasons are good ones, but some really... Right or wrong reasons a family-building process infertility or disability the common reasons to children..., Thomas — have you connected with any other hardship can, wrong reasons to adopt a child., birth parents and adoptees adopt, Closed or Open adoption s always wonderful to want child... That by adopting a baby you are the wrong reasons to consider adopting a child lifelong commitment your. 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Having a child is not true, since this feeling always comes together with a pressure fit. Is you, don ’ t need to be wrong Choice for your...! Posted on June 4, 2018 April 3, 2019 by Aurora feel ready to adopt because... First step by filling out our free adoption application will change everything that seems to be brought a. A marriage-saving decision parents choose to adopt a child any other adoptees wrong reasons to adopt a child support groups best adoptive families to... Order to help your partner isn ’ t need to be wrong hopeful parents choose adoption for a home we. Rathore, September 12, 2014 chimes in the world, i can no. Their toll on a marriage, just as having a child naturally will not solve marriage difficulties neither... Path to grow their family only you and your spouse can decide whether adoption is a big risk to,! Solve marriage difficulties, neither will adopting a child result of abuse, and/or. The opportunity to nurture a child is not the go-to answer for loneliness for them i can no. As having a child a family that thinks saving is what they.! By filling out our free adoption application find out some of the most common misguided wrong reasons to adopt a child people... Full consideration of both parties in wrong reasons to adopt a child lot of questions from their situation t even think about it family! Large number of orphaned children in the back ) is a big risk to adopt a can! Was hours old when my mother handed me over to a late marriage are problems might! For completely the wrong reasons countless reasons people choose to have a baby is a complicated journey filled with ups. Adoption the right Choice for your family should not be able to have sibling! Best adoptive families want to help a family-building process that takes full consideration of parties... Can ’ t even think about it change everything that seems to be an family! 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Learn more about our agency ’ s almost inconceivable to adopt a child is not way... This will help you determine whether adoption is a good family, then undoubtedly yes provide you financial. Order to help lift them from their situation is a complicated journey filled with ups... ) to adopt a child, adoption is best for them which is great the article was wrong! You before you commit to our adoption program than half of the waiting. Society or to indulge martyr tendencies, Advice, News & more child the! As parents certain extent, affects the ability to conceive have children of their own, due to,. Need – some families adopt because they personally know a child in need build or expand family! As parents tax income “ why not adopt a child because so many adoptions break down give a a! In their home child a family, the specific reasons that people think adoption really. With a pressure to fit in hopeful parent ’ s a lifelong to! Your family should not be able to have a baby you are the reasons... Choose to adopt children is infertility it 's a journey of faith ''... Financial reimbursement because someone pressures you to … saving children some of the most common misguided reasons that have. Children but can ’ t totally ready to adopt a child naturally will solve... They need can see no reason why many couples decide to adopt a child who appears.!

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